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The Chatter Box 
abel ambi asian_essence bifocalLs BubblyLora ChickensInATree Chloefoxx chocobopnai CindyInHerNutShell crazyxtw1tch dave dean dis1girl djjester Dorkman drunkenmaster EffinJOSELL eXiled FilipinoSamurai floweegirl JuStBlUe kshaffer k_hershee le_battement liDeaLisTicLaDyl Linhster luvablemonkey MzLexy NerdyNiteLite752 Orangepixistix PandaJono patrisha10 putnamsgurl s49_jezza samuwamu SOcontagious survive_life TariThyPillow teresa unkept WeezerGoat420 xx2whiterosesxx XxAzNlUvVeRXX
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28 29 30 C00L3ST TH!NG EV3R!!! Comedy
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "TRAGEDY". One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a TRAGEDY." "No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a TRAGEDY." I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Clinton. "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a TRAGEDY?" Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he speaks: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, that would be a TRAGEDY." "Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?" "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an ACCIDENT, and it certainly would be no GREAT LOSS!" ------------------------------ A squad of American soldiers was patrolling along the Iraqi border. To their surprise, they found the badly mangled dead body of an Iraqi soldier in a ditch along the road. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, who was still barely alive. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened. "Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth. I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash!' He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'Bill Clinton is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash too!' We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."
1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. 2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. 4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on. 5) Hold the doors open and say your saiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" 6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. 8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment. 9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play. 10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 12) Ask, "Did you feel that?" 13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. 14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!" 15) Swat at flies that don't exist. 16) Tell people that you can see their aura. 17) Call out, "Group Hig!"and then enforce it. 18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" 19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. 24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!" To Be Or Not To Be? |
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